Scrambled Eggs


When you’re unemployed and a voice on the other end of the phone tells you your benefits have run out; the ‘ole gray matter begins to spin.

In all directions.

As if beaten with a fork.

Like scrambled eggs.

So scrambled, I can’t piece together a single, complete, intelligent thought.

Should I change my resume, again……Did I feed the cat……Maybe I should try a different industry……..Don’t forget to clean the fridge……….What about you certifications……….Call the insurance company, increase your deductible………..Schedule your CPR……….Cancel the cable.

Nothing makes sense.

My writing doesn’t even make sense; going off in different directions.

Scrambled all around.

I have so many versions of my resume, I don’t know which one was the actual original.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned in any of my posts that I’m a certified Group X and Mat Pilates instructor.

For almost 10 years now.

I obtained my first certification on my 40th birthday and I did it for myself. Not to make money, but to keep me committed to good health and to help other people. I love it.

When I lost my real job, I gave up my classes as well.

It was a hard decision for me. I let my certifications lapse.

I felt dejected.

I’ve spent many hours thinking of ways not to depend on the world, but to utilize what I know and love and to learn to depend on ME.

I used to be a CPR instructor; training provided at the expense of my previous employer, but when my position changed I didn’t recertify. It’s been 7 or 8 years ago.

I throw these thoughts into the mix………………..

the start up is a small investment with training and equipment………..the training is out of town (additional expense)…………..it’s been a long time…………what if I don’t get it…………..what if no one comes?

(whip it with a fork)

Writing is an obvious passion, with a number of projects I work on more often. I can’t focus on just one. I did manage to finish one project I started about 5 years ago about healthy living. I self-published it July 4th and it went on sale July 17th, .

So I throw these thoughts in the mix as well……………..

the Pilates home series for beginner, intermediate and advance practices…………….the series about not so fictional adventures of not so fictional 6 female friends………….short stories from my blog…………….a second poetry collection.

(whip, whip, whip…….beat the hell outa the side of the bowl)

I know fitness and I love being an instructor. A few months ago I set a goal to get recertified. I completed and passed both re-certifications this month.

So, in go these thoughts……………………..

I got ’em; now what do I do with ’em?……………….do I go crawling back to my old gym?…………….rent my own studio………………just hold classes in the park, under the trees, where there’s no expenses……………but what if it rains?…………If I had my own place I could teach CPR, but I could do that at my old gym

(WHIP, WHIP, WHIP; it’s sloshing over the sides)

As badly as I would like to remove from the mix; there’s still the endless applications and profiles I submit daily.

(throw down the fork; there’s nothing left but foam)

I beat these thoughts around and try to figure out how I can make them work for ME.

Many bloggers I follow write about doing what you love; following a dream. One of my first posts, almost a year ago, was about my dream of having a condo at the beach. I’ve put the dream to rest for a while. The money I had saved for that dream I’m now living off of.

Gone but not forgotten.

Now, how did I get on that subject????

I went from scrambled thoughts (whip, whip, whip), to depending on myself (WHIP, WHIP, WHIP), to endless applications (throw down my fork), to a dream put to rest (???).

Whipped to hell; nothing more than frothy foam. Nothing making sense.

Beaten and scrambled like a dozen eggs.

I thought serving up this scrambled mess on a plate would help……………………..

Hmmmm…….maybe I’ll just make some toast…….

I could mow lawns…………..weed eat sidewalks………..but I don’t have a lawn mower, or a weed eater

and she quietly…….slips………..away………..

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. skinnyandsingle
    Jul 22, 2014 @ 11:54:55

    I just nominated you for the Liebster Award. Check out my post here: http://skinnyandsingle.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/liebster-award-skinnyandsingle-blushing/

    Like

    Reply

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