Mounds of Dirt

It’s been a while since I’ve written/journaled/blogged/documented the events in my single/newly 50/transplanted/empty nester life.  Many times I’ve opened my little notebook to begin an entry and stare at the stark white page; only to close it without leaving the first stroke of lead.  Even the poems that so freely flow have become only a trickle.

Oh, my brain is still a wild hurricane of thoughts and notions; but I’m having a hard time getting my hand to translate my brain.  I’ve had this before, I guess most writers do.  I remember writing a post about it a year or so ago………….computer overload, your system is shutting down……………..or something like that.

Usually my surroundings are enough to spin a story (I’ve been inspired by a bowl of pecans before), or at times I use tools from my writing exercise books.  But lately nothing seems to work.  Not even my 15 month old grand daughter who is falling into her Gigi’s steps; she loves to dress up in all the bling and sparkle; don’t take her shoes unless you want an angry fight and if she brings you a blanket you better tie it around her neck like a beautiful cape and tell her how pretty she is.  If you fail to notice any of this and hurt her feelings, you will get the “stinky” eye.  Lord knows GiGi doesn’t want the “stinky” eye!

You would also think I could find some inspiration in my new job, my new co-workers, my RV living or being a “transplant”; but nothing seems to work.

2014 was a year of struggles for me ~ losing my job last December after almost 20 years; running out of unemployement benefits, but stll having bills to pay and having a mild case (Thank God!) of shingles…………………….

Each morning as I drive to work my radio is tuned to an inspirational station; they play positive uplifting music and have a segement called “Good News”.  This segement gives people the opportunity to call in and share some “good news”.  Early last week a lady called in to share some “good news”, It went something like this…………………

“Good morning, what is your good news?” 

“My husband has been battling stage 4 colon cancer and one day last week he stopped breathing.  The ambulance came and got him and he’s been in the hospital with a breathing tube and heavily sedated.  Today as I was about to go home for a few hours he began shaking his head.  I held his hand and stroked his head; I told him to open his eyes.  He looked at me and squeezed my hand.  I told him, “Do you know how much I love you?”  He shook his head “yes” and squeezed my hand.  I smiled at him and said, “It’s ok, I know you’re tired.”  He relaxed; stayed awake for a little while longer and then peacefully went back to sleep.  Although to most people this doesn’t sound like “good news”, it is to me.  I am so thankful for the time God has given me with my husband and I’m thankful for whatever time I have left.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to tell him that I love him and that it’s “ok”.  I know that shortly God will be calling him to a greater place.  That’s my “good news” and I just wanted to share it.”

I’ve never heard louder radio silence as I did that morning.

Radio hosts are usually full of words……………this morning the hosts struggled for words to say.

A very unexpected testimony of “good news”.

The lady never said her name, but I’ve thought about her often this week and I’m reminded of others with struggles far greater than mine.

My mother wears a crown full of jewels as she struggles with the declining health of my sister.  They both still laugh in the face of frustration; as every day is a challenge for both of them.  My mother is a talented writer and artisan and in spite of struggles manages to find comfort in her creations.

At a time when I felt my struggles were so great, they’re mere mounds of dirt compared to others mountains…………….

Determined to get my writing juices flowing again, I opened a new book of writing exercises.  The first exercise was to write a poem using the phrase from a poem of a famous poet.  I read them and immediately chose a phrase from a poem by Thomas Hardy.

The lady; who’s name I didn’t know, had setteled with me more than I realized.  The phrase ~ “Your troubles shrink not, though I feel them less….”

The poem came quickly……………………………..

Almost Home”

Your troubles shrink not,
though I feel them less;
as my head lays
upon your chest.
“You know I love you,”
steadfast you blink your eyes,
no sickness will break
our love that binds.
Blessed with goodness
by the time we’ve spent;
love and laughter
you’re my heaven sent.
You’re needed in
a far greater place,
to dance with the angels
in our Fathers grace.
A place in heaven
you’re free of pain,
you’ll wait for me
’til we meet again.
My selfless act
of letting go,
I hold your hand,
you’re almost home.

My struggles are so few and small.

Although this is not live radio and only a few will see this, I want to share my “good news”………………….

My good news is, I’m thankful ~

Thankful I’m healthier than most and able to work at the job I’ve been blessed with.  Thankful for the health and safe keeping of my children and family.  Thankful for my little diamond and my new grandson that’s not yet here.  Thankful for the ability and opportunity to explore and enjoy all the Lord has to offer me.  Thankful I still believe in the power of prayer.  Thankful for friends and love.  Thankful for the talents given to me.  Thankful that I’m reminded that my struggles are small…………………

Thankful they are mere mounds of dirt and not mountains I can’t climb.

Although this post is a little all over the place and a bit miscombobulated (Wha???), I’m thankful my hand finally moved around and left some lead on the page………..


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Welcome to Oz

"where the monkeys fly low and the shoes are ruby red"

Hope in the goodness of Humanity.

404: No Error Found

Because you've found me ;)

Dumbass News

Read By Dumbasses in 187 Countries Around the World!


Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure

%d bloggers like this: