“Zen” (Tanka)


Meditation time
where all of the world’s tuned out
silence overtakes
it’s but for just a moment
beauty in it’s presentness

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“A Stranger”


“Hello there,
who are you?”
I ask the person
in my room.
She sings,
she dances;
she smiles alot ~
she’s the person
I think I’m not.
“Where’d you come from?”
I hate to stare;
I know you see
my evil glare.
How dare you come
and laugh at me;
mock and taunt,
you nasty tease!
“How’d you get here?”
I need to know.
I don’t know you;
you should go!
“You know me!”
she just laughs and says.
I close my eyes
and shake my head.
A little familiar
from way, way back;
I may have seen her
in my long, lost past.
I cock my head ~
well, maybe so;
but that was
very, very long ago.
“You remember me!”
she gently smiles and sings.
I softly whisper,
“I think you should leave.”
“Don’t you miss me?”
she wants to know.
“If I knew you ~
maybe so.”
She laughs
and turns to leave……
“Wait!
Do you know me?”
She smirks;
“Oh, I think I do.
Once upon a time ~
I was you!”
For a fleeting moment
I can see my face;
not a stranger
in her place.
I sing,
I dance;
I smile alot ~
I’m the person,
I think I’m not.
She stands and waves;
but not for long,
I watch her turn
and then she’s gone.

“Addiction”


Like it or not, we all have one (or two)……..
That thing that consumes us, and at times; out of our control, totally takes us over………

“Addiction”

The air permeates;
your smell engulfs me
before I ever see you.
Before I touch you;
you fill my mouth
with your familiar taste.

A quiet sound;
so many hear,
yet magnified to me.
Euphoric surroundings;
nothing matters
when it’s only you and I.

I look around;
can others see?
Do they know?
~ the hold you have on me.

Writing Challenge 2


After many months of writing dormancy due to brain disorganization because of to much shit in my head………..new job, new town, new home, new grand babies, no friends, no TV, no family, no closet space, leaving stuff behind, whata I do with this, whata I do with that; blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!!!!

STOP THE MADNESS!!!

I have once again committed myself to using a monthly calendar of daily photo challenges (thank you fatmumslim.com) for my writing. Each day has a word or phrase and it allows me to focus my writing on that one word or phrase instead of being all over the place. It worked before and it’s working again!!

The title of the poems are the word or phrase from the calendar for that day. I find it fun, refreshing and challenging at times. And thats what I’m looking for.

“Big”

It rolls slowly
never makes a sound;
insignificant to most.
Shiny and bright
it speaks loudly;
but never says a word.
Silence so loud
disturbing those around;
they can only see.
One wet tear
seems so small;
but yet so big.

Scrambled Eggs


When you’re unemployed and a voice on the other end of the phone tells you your benefits have run out; the ‘ole gray matter begins to spin.

In all directions.

As if beaten with a fork.

Like scrambled eggs.

So scrambled, I can’t piece together a single, complete, intelligent thought.

Should I change my resume, again……Did I feed the cat……Maybe I should try a different industry……..Don’t forget to clean the fridge……….What about you certifications……….Call the insurance company, increase your deductible………..Schedule your CPR……….Cancel the cable.

Nothing makes sense.

My writing doesn’t even make sense; going off in different directions.

Scrambled all around.

I have so many versions of my resume, I don’t know which one was the actual original.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned in any of my posts that I’m a certified Group X and Mat Pilates instructor.

For almost 10 years now.

I obtained my first certification on my 40th birthday and I did it for myself. Not to make money, but to keep me committed to good health and to help other people. I love it.

When I lost my real job, I gave up my classes as well.

It was a hard decision for me. I let my certifications lapse.

I felt dejected.

I’ve spent many hours thinking of ways not to depend on the world, but to utilize what I know and love and to learn to depend on ME.

I used to be a CPR instructor; training provided at the expense of my previous employer, but when my position changed I didn’t recertify. It’s been 7 or 8 years ago.

I throw these thoughts into the mix………………..

the start up is a small investment with training and equipment………..the training is out of town (additional expense)…………..it’s been a long time…………what if I don’t get it…………..what if no one comes?

(whip it with a fork)

Writing is an obvious passion, with a number of projects I work on more often. I can’t focus on just one. I did manage to finish one project I started about 5 years ago about healthy living. I self-published it July 4th and it went on sale July 17th, .

So I throw these thoughts in the mix as well……………..

the Pilates home series for beginner, intermediate and advance practices…………….the series about not so fictional adventures of not so fictional 6 female friends………….short stories from my blog…………….a second poetry collection.

(whip, whip, whip…….beat the hell outa the side of the bowl)

I know fitness and I love being an instructor. A few months ago I set a goal to get recertified. I completed and passed both re-certifications this month.

So, in go these thoughts……………………..

I got ’em; now what do I do with ’em?……………….do I go crawling back to my old gym?…………….rent my own studio………………just hold classes in the park, under the trees, where there’s no expenses……………but what if it rains?…………If I had my own place I could teach CPR, but I could do that at my old gym

(WHIP, WHIP, WHIP; it’s sloshing over the sides)

As badly as I would like to remove from the mix; there’s still the endless applications and profiles I submit daily.

(throw down the fork; there’s nothing left but foam)

I beat these thoughts around and try to figure out how I can make them work for ME.

Many bloggers I follow write about doing what you love; following a dream. One of my first posts, almost a year ago, was about my dream of having a condo at the beach. I’ve put the dream to rest for a while. The money I had saved for that dream I’m now living off of.

Gone but not forgotten.

Now, how did I get on that subject????

I went from scrambled thoughts (whip, whip, whip), to depending on myself (WHIP, WHIP, WHIP), to endless applications (throw down my fork), to a dream put to rest (???).

Whipped to hell; nothing more than frothy foam. Nothing making sense.

Beaten and scrambled like a dozen eggs.

I thought serving up this scrambled mess on a plate would help……………………..

Hmmmm…….maybe I’ll just make some toast…….

I could mow lawns…………..weed eat sidewalks………..but I don’t have a lawn mower, or a weed eater

and she quietly…….slips………..away………..

“Oh, Me of Little Faith”


I decided against posting the poem for my self-made “Daily Prompt”. The prompt was “Something I’ve Learned” and the poem ended up being very negative.

Oh, I tried posting it, but my Internet kept freezing up causing me head popping frustration. So I decided I’d leave it and go take my afternoon walk and try posting it again later.

It had been a chilly, gloomy morning, but around 3pm this afternoon the sun came out and it was beautiful. I laced up my tenny’s and headed out the door. I had been down in the mouth and down on myself all day. The job searching not going very well. I had spent hours yet again on another job database building a new profile and resume (which is still not quite complete).

I have yet to see the fruits of my labor and it puts me in a foul mood.

I needed the walk.

I finished walking and I’m sitting in my car clearing out emails when I look up and see a man who goes to the church I used to go to. He waves, then walks over.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?”

“Oh, not much, just did a little walking.”

“Yeah. You off today?”

“Well, you could say that. I got laid-off.” I kinda laughed.

“Wow, sorry to hear that.”

Uh-oh…………………………

Well I don’t need to tell you it set the wheels in motion for a whining pity party about how many applications and resumes I had filled out and how frustrating it was. How I do the same thing every day and hear nothing. And on, and on, and on.

He quietly listen to me rant and rave until I finally said, “It’s just so frustrating, I can’t even get one call.”

“Have you prayed about it?”

“Well…………..yeah I pray about it.” Thinking that was a silly question.

“Have you told the Lord what you need and want……………………..specifically?”

“Well…………………”

“You haven’t have you?”

“Well………………..”

“If you don’t ask specifically, you may end up with something you don’t want. We have to be careful what we ask for.”

“Right………………”

“Jeri, I know you’re a believer. Don’t you believe the Lord can provide you with the job you need AND want?”

“Uh, well………….”

“He raised Lazarus from the dead and he’d been dead 4 days!! Surely you believe He can provide you a job.”

“Well………………”

“You’re full of doubt and fear aren’t you?”

“Well…………….”

This was becoming a one-sided conversation and the side wasn’t mine.

“I see the worry. You’ve lost your faith. I believe. I know He has a job for you. He’s just waiting for you to ask. Be specific. Believe!”

“Uh, yeah………..”

“Jeri, He raised the dead!! He will provide you a job.”

“Yeah………………”

“Do you think this was a chance meeting?”

“Well………………..”

“I don’t. The Lord put me here to lift you up. As soon as I saw you I knew. Don’t let this steal your joy. Ask for what you need and want.”

“I will…………………”

“And believe it! I’ll be praying for you.”

Waving he headed down the walking track.

WHEW!! What just happened??

I’d just been chastised and preached to all at the same time and I was smiling.

Goodness gracious!! (we say that a lot in Texas)

I drove away my attitude and spirits lifted.

I knew I wouldn’t be posting my negative poem, but would rather share my positive, uplifting conversation.

Tonight I’ll take the time to complete the profile and resume I didn’t want to finish this morning. And just before I hit “submit” I will specifically ask for the job I’m looking for and thank Him for it in advance. 🙂

20140417-184828.jpg

This little note has been taped to my bathroom mirror for almost 2 years.

“My Vice”


My daily prompt – My vice

“My Vice”

We all have one
the one nobody knows;
the one that we hide,
we never let it show.

Locked behind our doors
so no one else can see;
the place we’re not afraid,
to set ourselves free.

Those quiet little places
where our vices come to play;
there’s no one there to judge,
what we do or what we say.

Don’t even bother trying,
to deny would be a lie;
be honest with yourself,
our vices get us by.

That secret little thing
that helps to pull you through;
thinking your the only one………….
well, I may be just like you.

20140416-182151.jpg

“Dirty”


My daily prompt – Dirty

“Dirty”

Lifeless strands
hung about her face,
they blew lightly
in the wind.

She clings tight
to a tattered doll,
it’s snug there
beneath her chin.

Quiet little witness
of dirty little deeds,
so much of the world
she really shouldn’t see.

Little baby bird
she’s to young to fly,
youthful innocence
stolen away in the night.

A dirty little face
who should keep it clean?
Sleeping at night
with your dirty little feet.

Where’s your mama
while you play in the street?
Are you hungry
do you need something to eat?

Pretty little flower
in a ditch full of dirt,
innocent eyes
can’t hide the hurt.

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“More Please”


 

My daily prompt ~ More Please

“More Please……”

Non believer
full of self worth,
mere mortals
here on earth.

Chase the moon
to find the stars,
search the Son
find your heart.

Blinded faith
you don’t believe,
open your eyes
He’ll help you see.

In the Book
you’ll find it there,
verse and chapters
it’s all shared.

Uncommon strength
beyond our power,
reaches down
in our desperate hours.

Higher being
better than me,
quietly waiting
to set us free…………….

Image

“Hobby”


“Daily Prompt”

“Hobby”

Though I have several to choose
this by far is my favorite to do.

Get my pen, I write it down
every thought, without a sound.

Spread it out upon my bed
read it over and over again.

Several pages no one sees
several pages seen just by me.

That’s ok, it’s what I do
share the ones only I choose.

Hide them away in my little notebooks
stashed away in hidden nooks.

This little thing let’s me be
a little thing just for me.

 

Tools of the Trade

Tools of the Trade

 

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