“Momma Told Me”


“Momma Told Me”

Momma told me
there’d be days like this;
where getting dressed
would give me a fit.
These pants don’t work
I’ll try one more;
my closet now looks
like a dressing room floor.
Panties inside out
I’m already late;
Heel tears my hem
today is not the day!
I look in the mirror…..
what a hot mess!
I can’t help but laugh,
relieving my stress.
I don’t have time
it’s ponytail hair;
slip on my earrings,
a pair with some flair.
Grab my purse
rushing around;
slamming the door
my feet hit the ground.
Climb in my car
and I just breathe;
Momma told me
there’d be days like these.

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Locked and Loaded


for those days when I’m just on the edge…………………………….

——————————————————————————————————————————-

My patience level these days are the equivalent of, equal to, on the brink of………………………………

ZERO, nada, none……………………..

When ones life is so dependent on the almighty internet, it’s not a good way to start your morning to find your internet won’t connect on your computer.

Not your cellular device…………….

just your computer.

And so it begins………………………………………

Shut down, unplug, restart, spinning, spinning……………….

“page not found, no internet connection”

REPEAT………………………..

and again……………………..

and again…………………….

What next?????  Search for updates……………….

Well, look at that; 9 updates that didn’t automatically install.

WHY???   When all others install automatically.

Don’t you think that those techie gurus at Microsoft are smart enough to push out a “notification” or “alert” (I get them from everywhere else) that says, “Hey, heads up; we’re doing an automatic update that’s gonna jack with your internet connection.  If you want your internet to work, you need to manually install the other 9 updates.  Just a little FYI.”

Wow, how cool would that be!!

“Well yes, I think I will do the updates.  So glad they sent a little notice so I don’t have to rack my brains to figure out why my freakin’ internet won’t work.”

In addition to this notice, they should add a P.S.

“BTW, don’t start pulling your hair out and cussing at the cat until you’ve repeated the following actions 6 or 7 times………

Power on, attempt connection, shut down, reboot……………………..check for more updates……….install……….repeat.”

After 2 hours of total frustration of rebooting, updating, installing and rebooting; I finally have renewed my internet connection and I can start my daily routine.  But now I’m to frustrated to want to.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m sooooo glad I could fix the problem, but a little heads up would be nice.

I’m shutting down, my routine can wait ’til later.

unlocked and unloaded

Locked and Loaded


“for those days when I’m just on the edge…………..”

There are days I feel like a loaded gun, ready to fire, and then…………………..

I explode.

On paper.

I’ve decided to add a new category to my repertoire or arsenal; if you will.   I have previous posts that would fit very comfortably in this category.  I do hope that I don’t contribute to this category daily………………

But today was the day to start.

“Locked and Loaded ~ for those days when I’m just on the edge………”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was 19 I applied for my first job in the corporate world.

I was a small town country girl that uprooted with my young daughter and moved to the big city………………….Houston, Texas.

I told no one.

My mother was beyond shocked.

But that’s a story for a different day.

In those medieval days, you could walk into any company off the street and apply for a job.  Computers were strictly data bases; all other tasks were done on paper.

I walked into a place called The Credit Bureau of Greater Houston and said I wanted to apply for a job.

They handed me a pen and application, I filled it out right then and there, then immediately gave it back.

The receptionist disappeared for about five minutes.  When she returned she ask me to follow her to another room to complete the application process.  She then put me at a desk and gave me a packet telling me to answer all the questions in the packet; don’t leave any blank; shouldn’t take long, they’re multiple choice.

There were 100 questions.

This was all new to me.  I had worked in a jewelry store and a Dairy Queen.  I filled out an application, they said I was hired and I started the next day.  So sitting alone in a room answering a bunch of questions seemed a little strange to me.

Although I was a country girl, I was not stupid.

As I trudged through the questions I realized it was a “personality” test; though they never called it that.

You know the ones.  They ask a few select questions but they word them a hundred different ways; to see how you will answer them.

You know what I mean.

It seemed like it took me forever.

Once I completed it, the receptionist took it and left me in the room; telling me she would return shortly…………………..45 minutes later.

When she returned she took me to another office; this time there was a person in the office.  She introduced herself as Agnes (her last name slips my mind at this moment) and told me I had met the qualifications for the job and she would like to hire me.

This is were the interview started……………………………..but I had already been hired based on my “scores”.

The position was the lowest entry-level position they had; a Credit Extractor.  I sat behind a terminal (in medieval days they weren’t called computers) all day, entering peoples names and social security numbers, extracting credit reports for credit card applications.  Anyone that could remotely type could do the job.

It was an experience I will never forget.  It took more than three hours to complete the application process and I was hired passed on a score.

The plus side to the experience………………….face to face contact and I was hired on the spot.

If I remember correctly, a few years after that, Human Resources could no longer use those “personality” test, claiming it to be discriminating or something.

Well guess what???

They’re baacckk!!!

I’ve made a complete 360 degree turn.

This morning I open my email to start my daily ritual, to find an invitation to apply for a position based on my resume’ the employer had seen on one of those many job sites I’m registered with.  I don’t need to tell you how excited I was, thinking this would be a piece of cake, they already had my resume’ right?

Wrong!!

Same song and dance, only this time, at the very end; before submitting the application, the employer had a “few” questions that were required before I could submit my application…………………………..

95 to be exact!!

You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me!!  What could they possibly be asking?

Yep……….about six questions in I realized it was a “personality” assessment and upon realizing this I knew if I didn’t score high enough I would not even be considered for an interview, no matter how much I qualified based on my experience.   The whole process took me an hour and a half.

There would be no face to face contact; no emotional connection; no opportunity for a first impression.

Possibly all based on a number.

I suddenly felt 19 again; dazed and confused, applying for that first job.  I wondered; when had those “personality” tests crept back into the work place and taken the place of human contact.

A few keystrokes; a calculation and the computer spits out a numerical determination of a persons possible employment opportunity.

As great as technology is; it has made us a very impersonal world.

“Unlocked and Unloaded”

“Oh, Me of Little Faith”


I decided against posting the poem for my self-made “Daily Prompt”. The prompt was “Something I’ve Learned” and the poem ended up being very negative.

Oh, I tried posting it, but my Internet kept freezing up causing me head popping frustration. So I decided I’d leave it and go take my afternoon walk and try posting it again later.

It had been a chilly, gloomy morning, but around 3pm this afternoon the sun came out and it was beautiful. I laced up my tenny’s and headed out the door. I had been down in the mouth and down on myself all day. The job searching not going very well. I had spent hours yet again on another job database building a new profile and resume (which is still not quite complete).

I have yet to see the fruits of my labor and it puts me in a foul mood.

I needed the walk.

I finished walking and I’m sitting in my car clearing out emails when I look up and see a man who goes to the church I used to go to. He waves, then walks over.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?”

“Oh, not much, just did a little walking.”

“Yeah. You off today?”

“Well, you could say that. I got laid-off.” I kinda laughed.

“Wow, sorry to hear that.”

Uh-oh…………………………

Well I don’t need to tell you it set the wheels in motion for a whining pity party about how many applications and resumes I had filled out and how frustrating it was. How I do the same thing every day and hear nothing. And on, and on, and on.

He quietly listen to me rant and rave until I finally said, “It’s just so frustrating, I can’t even get one call.”

“Have you prayed about it?”

“Well…………..yeah I pray about it.” Thinking that was a silly question.

“Have you told the Lord what you need and want……………………..specifically?”

“Well…………………”

“You haven’t have you?”

“Well………………..”

“If you don’t ask specifically, you may end up with something you don’t want. We have to be careful what we ask for.”

“Right………………”

“Jeri, I know you’re a believer. Don’t you believe the Lord can provide you with the job you need AND want?”

“Uh, well………….”

“He raised Lazarus from the dead and he’d been dead 4 days!! Surely you believe He can provide you a job.”

“Well………………”

“You’re full of doubt and fear aren’t you?”

“Well…………….”

This was becoming a one-sided conversation and the side wasn’t mine.

“I see the worry. You’ve lost your faith. I believe. I know He has a job for you. He’s just waiting for you to ask. Be specific. Believe!”

“Uh, yeah………..”

“Jeri, He raised the dead!! He will provide you a job.”

“Yeah………………”

“Do you think this was a chance meeting?”

“Well………………..”

“I don’t. The Lord put me here to lift you up. As soon as I saw you I knew. Don’t let this steal your joy. Ask for what you need and want.”

“I will…………………”

“And believe it! I’ll be praying for you.”

Waving he headed down the walking track.

WHEW!! What just happened??

I’d just been chastised and preached to all at the same time and I was smiling.

Goodness gracious!! (we say that a lot in Texas)

I drove away my attitude and spirits lifted.

I knew I wouldn’t be posting my negative poem, but would rather share my positive, uplifting conversation.

Tonight I’ll take the time to complete the profile and resume I didn’t want to finish this morning. And just before I hit “submit” I will specifically ask for the job I’m looking for and thank Him for it in advance. 🙂

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This little note has been taped to my bathroom mirror for almost 2 years.

“Where I’d Rather Be”


Today has been one of those days.

My morning coffee companions were not very user friendly this morning causing me frustration. An emotion I don’t care to have right now.

It’s not often I get to spend 5 days with my grand daughter and frustrated is not what I want to feel.

Yesterday I wrote my poem for my “Daily Prompt” but was a little to preoccupied to post it and told myself I’d post it today.

I spent 2 of my precious hours this morning submitting an application and resume to a government entity. It’s ridiculous what you have to do just to submit for a job.

I get all the way to the end and my resume doesn’t want to attach to the application.

ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME??????

My plan was to apply for this job real quick while my little diamond took her morning nap.

Yeah; well, it went way beyond that.

After a download, an install and a convert to……………………I’m still not sure the damn thing attached.

My daughter who works from home, says, “It’s a nice day, lets go out for a couple of hours.”

Putting my laptop aside, “Ok, let me get dressed real quick.”

One of those bad hair days; I decided to throw my cap on………………………

Big mistake!!! My grand daughter wants nothing to do with me.

She doesn’t like the cap. She cries and wants her mom to hold her the whole time.

This did not help me at all.

I came to visit and enjoy my grand daughter. Not waste my time being frustrated about joblessness and filling out and submitting yet another lengthy application.

I promised my Ava when she woke up from her afternoon nap her GiGi would not be wearing a cap.

She is napping as I write this; my hair washed and the cap thrown to the side.

The world can kick me to the side but not my grand daughter; and though it was yesterday’s “Daily Prompt” it fits my mood today.

And today there is no place where I’d rather be.

“Where I’d Rather Be”

Most times
I’d rather be
in a chair
by the sea.
But today
I’m here with you
doing what
you like to do.
We’ll watch Barney
stack your blocks
when your sleepy
then we’ll rock.
Take a nap
watch you sleep
rise and shine
it’s time to eat.
Play your music
watch you dance
you melt my heart
with every glance.
Our time is short
just a few days
it won’t be long
I’ll be gone away.
So for awhile
it’s you and me
and this is where
I’d rather be.

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“Bowl full of Therapy”


I have just discovered a new therapy.  It doesn’t cost me a dime and since I am newly unemployed and no longer have insurance (YIKES!!!); free is all I can afford.

A friend from work gave me a large bag of pecans.  At Thanksgiving I made pecan pies.

I shelled a few for my pies.

I tried a new recipe.

I didn’t like it.

I will go back to my old faithful one and not waste my pecans……..

As I shelled, I thought to myself how time consuming and tedious it was.  The shells cut my thumbs and made them sore; and I spent lotsa time making sure I removed all the little “bitters”.

I was glad when I finally had enough for my pies.

This week has been a very emotional week for me…………hell the whole year has been an emotional roller coaster.  I would compare it to a roller coaster I rode at The Kemah Boardwalk called “The Bullet”.

First of all, at (then) 48, my thought was; “What the hell was I thinking?” and my second thought was,  “I’m to freakin’ old for this!”

A wooden roller coaster with twists and dips and drops that beat a poor body to death; then comes to an abrupt stop that gives you horrendous whip lash.  At the end of the ride, you want to just sit in the cart for a moment just to try to gather your thoughts that had just been rattled around inside your head!!

I hurt for days afterwards and vowed never to do it again!!!

There’s still a few weeks left in the year, but this week my cart came to an abrupt stop.

Yesterday, lucky Friday the 13th, was considered my last official day of employment with the company I’d worked a total of 20 years for.  Based on financial struggles; it was in the best interest of the business, to close the department I worked in and move it to a regional level.

It was a sad, frightening day; having to leave “family” behind and wonder about my future.

As I drank coffee at my kitchen counter I stared at a bowl of unshelled pecans.  I thought to myself, “I’ve got nothing else to do, I’ll shell a few pecans.”

I picked up those silver plier, nut crackers things and began……………

I squeezed, I busted, I snapped, I peeled, I picked and I chunked in a bowl………..

one after the other.

2 hours later, I found myself sitting on a bar stool at my kitchen counter having shelled more than a “few” pecans.

My cart had come to an abrupt stop and I needed some time to gather my rattled thoughts.  I found I could spend hours shelling pecans as therapy for my sadness, frustration, worry and even anger.

With each squeeze of those silver nut crackers, I released a little of something.

With each crack, pop and crumble; something else would let go.

At the end of my “session”, I felt I had been successful.  I felt a little better and I had a bowl of shelled pecans.

The best things about my new therapy……………….

no appointments necessary, walk-ins are always welcome and it doesn’t cost a dime.

I get a delicious pecan pie outa the “session” as well, if I choose to 🙂

I may feel a little beaten and bruised by life’s roller coaster ride, but…………..

here’s to abrupt stops

and a bowl full of unshelled pecans.

This to shall pass…………………….

“Flooded Floors”


“Flooded Floors”

The water comes, the water leaves,
leaving behind a mess to clean.
A lowly house takes on the flood,
where once was dry, the waters run.
Out the back door, sweep and mop,
pounding rain, I wish it would stop.
The faster I sweep, the harder it rains,
faster and faster, the water just gains.
I give up, I sit in my kitchen,
2 inches of water, I’m whinin’ and bitchin’.
I watch it swirl, all around my feet,
please stop rainin’ and let it recede!!
Sittin’ and thinkin’ and causing me stress,
having to clean, the big nasty mess.
Quietly listen, no pounding I hear,
the rain is slacking, I jump up and cheer!!
Get my broom, I open the door,
sweep out the water, that’s flooded my floors.

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